i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
