Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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