I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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