Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
