Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
