New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
