i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
