Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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