EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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