Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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