please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
