Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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