Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
