I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Randomize
