So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
