My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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