Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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