I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Couch. On fire.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
