Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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