Non-Jews are for practice
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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