I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
