Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
