I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
