did you get engaged???
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
