hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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