i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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