I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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