dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
