please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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