WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
