Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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