i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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