one two three fourrrrnication!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
