she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
