but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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