my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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