he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
