Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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