my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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