I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
