Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
