he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
