also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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