also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
