Its about making memories worth repressing
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
