They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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