she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
