So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm at about main and main street
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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