cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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