Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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