I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
