I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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