as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
